Fear of Coffee

See brick wall. See my head. Apparently, dating sites are really there to match heads with brick walls.

Maybe I have this wrong, but in my head, the natural progression of dating site engagement should be 1. Chat online to get the basics covered. When both people are comfortable the other is not an ax murderer, have a brief meet and greet for coffee. If coffee goes well, make a date and proceed.

Does that sound reasonable?

So I’ve finally found two men online that seem nice, and probably safe. The penpal relationship had gone as far as I could take it. It was becoming obvious they weren’t making the first move. So I stepped up to the plate and asked each one out for coffee. And then I was reminded why I hate dating sites.

Man #1 asked for my number. I don’t give out my number until I meet in person. It’s in my profile and I’ve told this man twice. When I tell him, once again, I’ll be glad to give up the digits if coffee goes well. So he canceled.

Man #2 and I chat endlessly. Again, I’m getting restless, so I invite him for coffee. That’s when he tells me he has vascular problems, had serious surgeries, and really never leaves his house.

So why is he on a dating site?

Maybe I need a new approach.


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