More often than not, I leave a date saying “what was I thinking?” (See all post prior this one.) After all, I have time to peruse a prospective date’s profile as much as I want, view pictures over again. Review his list of likes and interests. Not withstanding the ones who lie or post outdated photos, when I look back on a bad date, I realize there was probably some hint in the profile that might have clued me in that he wasn’t a dream date. How does this insight happen only after I suffered through a ghastly date?
I read a newspaper article today — “Wedded bliss might conflict with gut feelings” from the Washington Post. It talks about a study done with newlyweds being shown a nano second of their spouse’s photo followed by a positive or negative word. They then pursed a button indicating whether the word was desirable or not. The study was followed up several years later to see how satisfied the same couples were in their marriages.
The couples who chose negative words as desirable, which was a subconscious or “automatic attitude response” when they were newlyweds, were found to have dissatisfaction or broken marriages within just a few years.
The researchers say this shows that couples don’t realize their true feelings, or subdue them because they want their “investment” into their spouse to pay off, especially after the expense and fuss of a wedding.
Perhaps this same theory applies to my online dating disappointments. Maybe I’m investing too much into the hope that this one will be different. Maybe I’m not not in touch with my gut. Or the size of his…