You know the saying from Forrest Gump, “you never know what you’re gonna get.” But, there’s a bit of a flaw in that. If you’ve ever bought a sampler box of Whitmann’s chocolates, you know there’s a key on the lid of the box that lets you know which chocolate is in each spot.

Now to online dating. You never know what’s out there. In fact, there are flavors out there you never knew existed, and lots of less than savory characters.

But, like the box of Whitmann’s, there is a key out there to the great big box of men online. It’s called Google. Just by typing in someone’s name, you can find out if they are divorced, how old they are, and how much their house is worth. So why do men lie? Apparently they don’t know about Google? Or they think YOU don’t know about it. In the past 4 years, I’ve run across a convicted felon, 2 wife beaters, two married men and a whole lot of reckless drivers. They all seemed like great guys. Until I discovered the truth of their infractions. And then comes the choice. Tell them what you’ve found and listen for some kind of explanation, or just walk away.

So why this post? Where is the humor and satire? Where is the personal story about my latest date? Oh it’s in here. And if you’re reading this, Mr. Charming Man from Breakfast This Morning, you’ll know why I’ve written it. And you won’t call again.

Sad. Very sad.