BJ and a Beer

His Profile:

David: 35 year old man from Stow, Ohio seeking women 25-48

Top 100 Reasons to Date David
1.)I am a former bad boy (not in a criminal sense) turned good most the time. Plus I do a great Gene Simmons impression don’t you think?
2.)I share the TV remote
3.)I don’t smoke
4.)I don’t do drugs
5.)I wont put you down
6.)I don’t have a record (except tickets)
7.)I am well read (non-Fiction)
8.)I have a deep voice
9.)I can carry on a conversation about anything
10.)I am a great kisser
11.)I always smell nice
12.)Clean breath is important I use gum.
13.)I am a great father
14.)I shave my head everyday.
15.)I never leave the toilet seat up
16.)I change the roll of toilet paper
17.)I am strong I bench close to 300 pounds
18.)I know how to cook a little bit.
19.)I have a sense of humor.
20.)I do not take myself too serious.
21.)I like sports but, I probably only watch once a month or less.
22.)I own over 200 books most of them self improvement books such as Dr. Phil, Men are from mars women are from Venus, and Dr. Deepak Chopra so I am well read.
23.)Completed my Bachelors degree in Business last fall.
24.)I started going to church occasionally.
25.)I go to church but, don’t frown on those that don’t (I took a 15 yr break before getting back into it.)
26.)I love music mostly Rock and Roll and a bit of country.
27.)I love Amy Winehouse
28.)I only have one tattoo
29.)I like a cold beer.
30.)I will drink a glass of wine.
31.)Candles are great
32.)Bubble baths are even better.
33.)I shower daily.
34.)I keep my promises.
35.)I have a nice butt
36.)I have gorgeous baby blue eyes
37.)I floss my teeth.
38.)I like to text message.
39.)I am not a cheater
40.)I know the words to over 1000 songs.
41.)I sing in the shower
42.)I sing in the car
43.)I am a terrible singer but I think it is fun
44.)I played the trumpet in high school.
45.)In my Junior year I had a mullet
46.)I am a T-Shirt and Jeans sort of guy.
47.)I do not tan well.
48.)I drink coffee
49.)My son listens well.
50.)My son is very smart.
51.)I am open minded
52.)I can date women of any age (within reason)
53.)I like Dennis Leary and Sam kinison.
54.)My favorite Movie is Pulp Fiction.
55.)I have been to Graceland.
56.)I will go sky diving before I die.
57.)I flew a glider plan last year.
58.)I have been to 41 of the 50 states
59.)It is okay if you ask me out I don’t mind.
60.)Home cooked meal and a foot rub is one of many ways to win my heart.
61.)I am very loyal.
62.)I am friends with an ex or two.
63.)My grandparents on one side have been married 61 years.
64.)Grandparents on the other side married 37 years (Second marriage for them and goes to show some 2nd marriages do work)
65.)Parents have been married 38 years.
66.)I come from a small but, close family.
67.)My family accepts anyone that I accept.
68.)I like Handels Ice cream
69.)I enjoy video games with my son.
70.)I don’t play golf but, id like to learn.
71.)I play darts and pool but, not good at them.
72.)I open doors (at least some of the time)
73.)I am going to grad school soon undecided where though.
74.)I like pizza.
75.)I do not give up easy.
76.)I am able to cook you dinner.
77.)For a bachelor I do keep a fairly clean place.
78.)I give great back rubs.
79.)I am relatively handy when it comes to stuff around the house. (not a pro but I get by)
80.)I call both sets of my grandma’s at least once a month.
81.)I keep birthdays on my calendar so I don’t forget.
82.)I do send Christmas Cards.
83.)I am not a serial dater I generally prefer to be in a long term relationship dating is for the birds. lol
84.)I am an easy going guy.
85.)I tip waiters and waitresses fairly.
86.)I am never rude to people who are not rude to me first.
87.)My favorite sport is Baseball.
88.)I grew up in Indiana.
89.)John Mellencamp is one of the best singers of all time.
90.)Freddie Mercury, Amy Winehouse, Billy Joel, axle rose, David Bowie, Elton John and Donald Trump.
Okay there are 10 more but, I ran out of room.

ME: So if I go out with you, will I be able to find another 100 reasons to date you? Not so impressed with the Gene Simmons tongue impersonation thing, but you do sound interesting. I live in Stow too. Would you like to chat sometime?

HIM: Sure

ME: Can you send me a picture OF YOUR FACE?

Two days later

HIM: Did I scare you off? I promise I’m not fat. most my pictures are recent so don’t worry I’m not bigger then my pictures .. lol I’m  fasting for 14 days only drinking caffeinated beverages and water.

ME:  I do not think you are fat, nor do I care! You look great. The fasting for 14 days only drinking caffeinated beverages and water — that freaks me out a little. It’s not healthy and seems like a drastic measure to take that could be potentially very dangerous.

Two days later

ME: How is the fast going?

HIM: Well then you should be happy to know I did not make it past 3 days. I felt like I was going to die of hunger. I felt great all over but the hunger was brutal. So I have resumed the Rice diet. The rice diet is what I was doing about 10 days before my 3 day fast and I am back on it. Basically the Rice diet has very little to do with Rice it is just keeping your sodium under 500 mg per day. That means you are pretty much eating lean meats, veggies, fruit etc.. Anything in a can, frozen dinners, pizza etc are all off limits because they have a boat load of sodium. So far this has really worked well for me and I am staying around 1000 calories a day. It is a lot less brutal then the fast and I feel a lot less angry.. LMAO.

So when we gonna hang out?

A Coffee Date was made

My follow-up to a nice coffee date:


Thanks again for coffee. I really enjoyed talking with you. You are NOT overweight! You ARE a very attractive, intelligent man. But I left thinking you probably won’t call me again. Either that, or because I’m overweight. Or that I talked too much. Anyway, that teaches me not to have caffeine on a first date! I think you are a great guy, and I would really like to see you again. And if the feeling isn’t mutual, that’s ok. I’d rather know than wait for the phone to ring…

Either way, thanks for coffee and a great conversation! You’re groovy.


HIM:  Thanks it was nice meeting you too. I am not looking for anything serious. I guess Id be happy with a bj, a beer and a conversation. Really a simple guy but I can understand if that is not what you are looking for. Usually women are looking for love and perhaps I may be but not right now anyway.

Me: Would those 3 things need to be in any particular order?

HIM: Well they can be in that order and repeat. lol..

ME: Wow. Totally didn’t expect this from you. Yep, you made it into my book. I guess all men think with the organ beneath their belt, and not the one above their neck. Good luck to you. I’m out.

HIM: Prude

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